Author: Super User

467 Children Removed–But What About the Ones Previously Exiled?

Eldorado, Texas–Recent news reports about a Texas polygamist compound highlight the abuse of underage girls by compelling them to marry men two or three times their age under threat of excommunication.

But very little attention has been paid to the abuse and neglect of the boys. Even those as young as 13 are frequently expelled from the compound and forced to fend for themselves without education, friends, or adult guidance. The order is usually given by the spiritual leader of the compound, and the parents of the boys are too fearful of excommunication to object.

In the family court reform movement, we see the media ignore injustices against men over and over. Likewise, in reporting on the Texas compound, they are ignoring serious injustices against boys, even when they are in plain sight. In fairness to the media, the New York Times did run one article about the plight of such boys last September, but there has been no follow-up and current reporting from Texas almost ignores this aspect of the problem.

According to one exiled boy, now in his twenties, 70 percent of the boys in his school class were expelled. The New York Times article estimated that 500 to 1,000 boys had been expelled from one Utah compound alone over the past six years, out of a total compound population of about 10,000 — meaning that a large percentage of the boys had been expelled.

The claim is that they are expelled for offenses against the communal religion, but in most cases the offenses are trivial — watching movies or showing interest in a girl their own age.

In a polygamist society in which some men have many wives, simple math tells us that many men will have no wives at all. One way to deal with this inevitable imbalance is to expel the extra men, even if they are still boys. So the reasons offered smack of convenient excuses for getting rid of the boys. To learn more, click here.

These issues have been largely ignored. The excommunication of boys has been occurring for years and nothing has been done. Are state officials ignoring this problem? Why? — this is child neglect. Will charges be brought against the members of the sect for neglecting their male children, or only for the sexual exploitation of the girls?

Post a comment or view what others have posted below.

Background: Law enforcement officers and child welfare investigators raided the Yearning for Zion Ranch of the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in Eldorado, Texas on April 4th after a 16 year old girl called a domestic violence shelter and stated she was beaten and raped by her 50 year old husband. Once at the Ranch, officials removed about 50 girls from the compound and a few days later received temporary custody of the 417 other children who reside on the Ranch. To read more, click here.

So far only two arrests have been made, neither of which address the core issues involved. Leroy Johnson Steed and Levi Barlow Jeffs were charged with tampering with evidence and interfering with the duties of a public servant. Presently, state troopers are holding an unspecified number of men until the investigation is complete. Why only the men, since the women are complicit with the crimes?

Our society needs to protect our boys as well as our girls. And needs to hold both mothers and fathers accountable for crimes against children.

Post a comment or view what others have posted below. 

Below are some recent articles and items of interest from Fathers & Families’ latest News Digest.

Divorce attorney digs up wedding ring coffins (Atlanta Journal Constitution, 4/8/08)

Deadbeat dad locked up over $127,000 (Munster Times, 4/9/08)

Sean Penn’s divorce called off (San Jose Mercury News, 4/9/08)

Father keeps $3M award in case where sons taken to Egypt by ex-wife (Maryland Daily Record, 4/9/08)

Domestic violence bill sparks heated exchange (San Francisco Chronicle, 4/10/08)

Steelers’ Najeh Davenport Not Guilty In Domestic Violence Case (ThePittsburghchannel.com, 4/10/08)

34 arrested for failure to pay child support (Bridgewater Courier News, 4/10/08)

Haggling over who collects late child support payments could leave some kids without (Dallas Observer, 4/10/08)

New York, New York–The April 1 edition of the Wall Street Journal ran two articles on divorce and missed the real meaning of each.

Page 1 noted that 33 percent of higher-earning spouses, but only 3.8 percent of alimony-payers, are women (Men Receiving Alimony Want a Little Respect ). A male weakness is asserted as the reason for this discrepancy: it”s all due to male shame, according to the article.

A better explanation is that family courts will rarely order women to pay men, as they are still stuck in old stereotyped gender roles. Also, men trade away alimony for more time with their children, another prize that family courts often refuse them.

Here”s an interesting sidelight. A top-ranking New York family court judge says that women ordered to pay alimony are angrier about it than men. (This clip can be viewed here.) So much for the mad-dad stereotype.

On page D9 of the same edition, the Journal reported that almost twice as many women with professional degrees are separated or divorced compared to men with these degrees (Women MBA”s More Liable to Divorce than Men). Again, the asserted reason is an alleged male character flaw–fragile ego”s causing them to leave successful wives.

But since women seek 70 percent of divorces, the real story is that wives are the ones doing the leaving. So yet another male character flaw is offered– the fast-track wives are leaving because men allegedly don”t give them enough TLC. But maybe a better reason is back on page 1–the professional wives leave more often because they know they won”t have to pay alimony. And they will get the kids, house and child support.

What do you think? Tell us below.

Tucson, AZ–“CNN says ‘Report: Men still not pulling weight on chores.’ Major newspaper headlines include: ‘Home equity? Men are doing more chores, but women still do most,’ ‘Men still slack off, but not as much,’ and ‘Men do more housework, but not yet a fair share.’ Several hundred newspapers and media outlets are covering a new Council on Contemporary Families report on men and housework. The message is clear–yes, men have improved a little, but they still don”t do enough, and women are still getting a raw deal.

“This is a terribly unfair distortion…”

My new co-authored column, Media Reaction to New Housework Study Minimizes Men”s Work, Sacrifice for Their Families (Tucson Citizen, 4/1/08), criticizes the misleading reporting of a new study on men”s housework and child care. The original Associated Press article is Men still not pulling weight on chores (CNN, 3/6/06).

To write a Letter to the Editor of the Tucson Citizen concerning Father knows rest? 2 men beg to differ (4/1/08), write to letters@tucsoncitizen.com.

The column, co-authored with family law attorney Jeffery M. Leving, is below.

Media Reaction to New Housework Study Minimizes Men”s Work, Sacrifice for Their Families
By Jeffery M. Leving and Glenn Sacks

CNN says “Report: Men still not pulling weight on chores.’ Major newspaper headlines include: “Home equity? Men are doing more chores, but women still do most,’ “Men still slack off, but not as much,’ and “Men do more housework, but not yet a fair share.’ Several hundred newspapers and media outlets are covering a new Council on Contemporary Families report on men and housework. The message is clear–yes, men have improved a little, but they still don”t do enough, and women are still getting a raw deal.

This is a terribly unfair distortion because it disregards the fact that men are usually their families” primary breadwinners, and often make great sacrifices in that role. Studies which account for the total amount of work that husbands and wives contribute to their households–including housework, child care, and employment–confirm that men contribute at least as much to their families as women do.

According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics” 2004 Time Use Survey, men spend one and a half times as many hours working as women do, and full-time employed men still work significantly more hours than full-time employed women. Census data shows that a quarter of married women with children under 18 do not hold a job outside the home, and less than half work full time.

A 2002 University of Michigan Institute for Social Research survey found that women do 11 more hours of housework a week than men but men work 14 hours a week more than women. According to the BLS, men”s total time at leisure, sleeping, doing personal care activities, or socializing is a statistically meaningless 1% higher than women”s. The Families and Work Institute in New York City found that fathers now provide three-fourths as much child care as mothers do–50% more than 30 years ago.

Yet even these studies understate men”s contributions because they only count the hours devoted to a task without measuring the physical strain and/or danger associated with it. A man doing eight hours of dangerous construction work in the 95-degree heat is credited with no more “work” than a woman who works in an air-conditioned office. A man driving a truck, taxi or heavy equipment under hazardous conditions is equated with a woman caring for her children or making dinner in the comfort and safety of her own home.

Los Angeles, CA–My daughter found a 60-year-old book of Bible stories among our many books, and has been asking me to read it to her as a bedtime story lately. When we came to Genesis 39–the story of Joseph and Potiphar’s Wife–I had to laugh. I guess women ruining men’s lives by making false accusations isn’t anything new.

The passage is below. The painting is of Joseph rebuffing Potiphar’s Wife’s advances–an act which stripped him of his good job and landed him in prison.

Genesis 39: Joseph and Potiphar’s Wife

1 Now Joseph had been taken down to Egypt. Potiphar, an Egyptian who was one of Pharaoh’s officials, the captain of the guard, bought him from the Ishmaelites who had taken him there.

2 The LORD was with Joseph and he prospered, and he lived in the house of his Egyptian master.

3 When his master saw that the LORD was with him and that the LORD gave him success in everything he did,

4 Joseph found favor in his eyes and became his attendant. Potiphar put him in charge of his household, and he entrusted to his care everything he owned.

5 From the time he put him in charge of his household and of all that he owned, the LORD blessed the household of the Egyptian because of Joseph. The blessing of the LORD was on everything Potiphar had, both in the house and in the field.

6 So he left in Joseph’s care everything he had; with Joseph in charge, he did not concern himself with anything except the food he ate.
Now Joseph was well-built and handsome,

7 and after a while his master’s wife took notice of Joseph and said, “Come to bed with me!”

8 But he refused. “With me in charge,” he told her, “my master does not concern himself with anything in the house; everything he owns he has entrusted to my care.

9 No one is greater in this house than I am. My master has withheld nothing from me except you, because you are his wife. How then could I do such a wicked thing and sin against God?”

10 And though she spoke to Joseph day after day, he refused to go to bed with her or even be with her.

11 One day he went into the house to attend to his duties, and none of the household servants was inside.

12 She caught him by his cloak and said, “Come to bed with me!” But he left his cloak in her hand and ran out of the house.

13 When she saw that he had left his cloak in her hand and had run out of the house,

14 she called her household servants. “Look,” she said to them, “this Hebrew has been brought to us to make sport of us! He came in here to sleep with me, but I screamed.

15 When he heard me scream for help, he left his cloak beside me and ran out of the house.”

16 She kept his cloak beside her until his master came home.

17 Then she told him this story: “That Hebrew slave you brought us came to me to make sport of me.

18 But as soon as I screamed for help, he left his cloak beside me and ran out of the house.”

19 When his master heard the story his wife told him, saying, “This is how your slave treated me,” he burned with anger.

20 Joseph’s master took him and put him in prison, the place where the king’s prisoners were confined.

Los Angeles, CA–My recent His Side with Glenn Sacks radio commentary for KLAA AM 830 in Los Angeles discusses Indianapolis Star cartoonist Gary Varvel’s so-true-it’s-painful depiction of the fatherless modern American family (pictured). The picture in the upper left of the album is the saddest of all.

To listen to the commentary, click here or on the audio button below.

To learn more, see my blog post So Heartbreaking and So True.

His Side with Glenn Sacks radio commentaries are broadcast daily on KLAA AM 830, a 50,000 watt talk station in Los Angeles and Orange County. KLAA AM 830 is owned by Arte Moreno, owner of the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim.

From 2003-2005, His Side with Glenn Sacks ran in a syndicated talk show format in Los Angeles, New York City, Boston, Seattle, and other cities. To listen to show archives, click here.

[audio:http://www.glennsacks.com/hsrc/mp3/hsrc-family-album.mp3]

Los Angeles, CA–One of the things I like the most about the movie Rocky Balboa (2006) is the way Rocky feels about his late wife Adrian. He speaks of her reverently and visits her grave often, always bringing fresh flowers.

Adrian loved Rocky for who he was, instead of resenting who he wasn’t. She cherished the things he did, as opposed to carping about the things he didn’t do.

In return, Rocky was loyal and kept his affection and love for her, even after he became famous and could have traded her for a “better” woman, as some men do. There’s a kind of working man’s dignity to Rocky’s affection for her that is very touching.

In the previous clip from the movie that I blogged about (see Some Great Fatherly Advice from Rocky Balboa) Rocky reminds his son “don’t forget to visit your mother.” The next day they both meet by chance at Adrian’s grave.

In the clip below, Rocky is thinking about Adrian on their anniversary, revisiting the ice skating rink where they had met many years before. He’s with Paulie, Adrian’s brother.

To watch, click here or see below.